沉默

沉默因该在这种情况不是金

忍了许久的无奈，最后还是滔滔不绝了

为了要保护一些每人应有的个人人权，说话也变得客气许多

口头上是说说没事，甚至说抱着感怀感激之心，

但是

我们都知道人的肚量有限，再加上说厚不厚的感情，肚量更是有限，或少得可怜

矛盾的说，保持沉默也不是我的作风

那股莫名的正义感，打抱不平的义气

就是偏偏吞不下去

就这样吧

该说的也说了

随他去

HAPPY 1+1 ANNIVERSARY!!

HAPPY 1+1 ANNIVERSARY!!

It's January 22nd.

It is our 1st anniversary plus another month of celebration.

We have gone through so many things, fought over so many arguments,

travelled to so many awesome places, but most importantly travelled deeper into each other's heart and discover our true selves.

If i were to set a rule for our relationship,

I would say

1. tolerate

2. tolerate

3. tolerate

and still tolerate

When we tolerate someone we loved, we will not just stuck in a tiny space and keep blaming on all his/her negative doings. In contrast, we would somehow see the good effects when we tolerate more. So baby, keep tolerating me too k, even though you had done a lot.

If we were to loved each other, i believe fate is a factor, but without tolerance and love, the strongest love ever will fall apart.

At this moment, I appreciate our love, your love and my love for you.

1+1 makes our love more worthy.

1+1 makes our stories interesting.

1+1 makes us complete.

1+1 makes everything complete.

1+1 makes a heart complete

just as below

Sorry for my headstrong attitude that cause you a lot of troubles.

Sorry for letting you down, sometimes.

Sorry for not remembering some of the memorable dates.

Sorry for not being the best girlfriend.

This is your 1+1 anniversary card.

Although I cant pass it to you in person, it doesn't mean I cant deliver my message.

My blog has never appear any post related to you, so here it is! :)

Thanks for being with me all the time, especially in Bakery Story. :p

Thanks for keep trying to make things work.

Thanks for being my moral supporter.

Thanks for your forgiveness.

Thanks for your love.

Nassau, Bahamas, Dec 2011

With love,

Jer

Opportunity

条条大路通罗马

For every direction that you choose

we see opportunities.

However, to choose the right direction in life, we struggle, struggle and still struggle.

In the midst of planning my future, i believe fall far far behind thousands of graduates.

I know having tons of thoughts and ideas in your mind without taking any actions, is just like grumbling that you're hungry but not getting up for food.

At the beginning of 2012, I rang a wake up call to myself. I wrote a short notice to my potential career guider. Unexpectedly , I got his reply in just a second. We scheduled for a skype call. Now, it has been 3 weeks from the day which full of excitement, sometimes we lost contact, sometimes he simply shot me with a surprise note. Still, we didnt make it to any calls.

Then, i ponder carefully and thought how deficient can i be if i only rely on one source. More sources can never be harm. Motion, or change is one constant thing in life. People keep moving, keep going forward in life, despite if they are walking in a straight line, in a curve, or even in a circle; they will still keep moving FORWARD.

Opportunity is everywhere.

Let's keep believing, cause the angels living close to me never fail me.

“Do not suffer life to stagnate; it will grow muddy for want of motion: commit yourself again to the current of the world.” – Samuel Johnson

Corn maze, Life maze

"Human Interpersonal Communication" is an uncertain development of human adaptation processes that YOU COULD NEVER HANDLE them, in a right way.

In other words, no clues. If you say HIC is just like a chunk pieces of puzzles, which time, patience and skills are essential in order to fix them up, or if you would describe HIC as in you are the mouse and let the situation be corn maze, so what's now is all depending on your critical thinking or how good your culture spurred in your cognitive development, along with what opportunity cost you willing to forgo, perhaps some LUCK?

If these are what's on your mind, i'm going against you!

the only independent variable is THE COMPLEXITY OF THE CORN MAZE.

Look at this, yes look at the complexity

Look again, now still complex.

Third glance, no clue? You're in!

Think carefully, there are numerous of corn maze that you are going to walk through in everyday's life, some people pass all them effortlessly, some people having a hard time and get lost a couple of times, some people got stress up and die off, some people turn backward and guess what, ESCAPE from the maze, some people practices good moral values and be optimistic : if you grant clues, your will be rewarded by reaching the exit (if you be good to others, you wil be good, vise versa); some people however, take you for granted, rehearse all their devilish, demonic, tricky all the way just to get out of the maze and guess what, FORGET about all the shit (endeavor) that they been through, which actually benefits them in a way, nevertheless, those unsympathetic and cold-hearted little creatures abandoned all of those positives, eventually they grown up sinful. Therefore, chasing away all other corn maze participants who they met in the corn maze. (Those people can be the helpful one, and the one you took them for granted)

Well, I am stuck in the corn maze now. At first i tend to minimize the troubles, be good to others, so I will be granted. BUT this sometimes doesn't work out at certain viewpoint. Look, there are millions of people out there, millions of faces, millions of personalities, millions of ADAPTATION BEHAVIORS that you would never really know until the day you set in. Put in succinctly, people don't care what you feel, people spoke out loud for what they yearn for, people are self-center, self-less people are scarce, human interpersonal communication simply isn't tough enough to block out all those unwanted chaos.

RIP my lovely great grandmother

Was being told about my great grandmother unpleasant condition in hospital days ago, heart sunken and eventually receiving call from mommy claiming that doctor had resigned himself from saving the weak life of her as no matter how advance are our current medical technologies, we couldn't go against the twist of fate. And that made my gloomy day. Right, she had then sent home for good. I couldn't imagine what's more her daughters, son, grandchild or us great grandchild would feel staying beside her and preparing themselves mentally for the arrival of agony.


Shed off the tears, God is just taking her away to a whole better world, better place to stay. Mommy said the word 'funeral' would be replaced by "burial celebration" adding 5 more years to her actual age, she was then 100 year-old.

I hated so much to have learn the 'past tense' only when the 'present tense' has no longer applies to the whole chunk.

She used to hug us so softly when we visit every time we head back to hometown, she used to call our names and sent her regards. She's old but she's aware of everything. She won my respect.

These days i have bad insomnia, i wanted to go home so badly to join the family. My mind seemed instill and skeptical, why am i here? Should me be home living a simple life, life is short anyway. And there goes my mind with the nonsense negative thinking. That marked the saddest day of mine so far. If you ask me why don't i seem to be sad when my great grandmother is gone, I would say I'm super fine, i'm letting go, I had already accepted the truth even if i know that my heart was just tightly locked upon others.

We will always remember you, ah zoh! <3

Nightmares go away!

I have not been sleeping well lately. I used to be a good sleeper, no nightmares less dreams. I could easily fall asleep even i had 3 to 4 hours of afternoon nap on that particular day. Well i know that sounds pretty ridiculously long but yeah that's my favorite activities at home once I am jobless.

Staying away from home, adjusting very hard to sleep on my new bed, then adapting hard to a new sleeping environment, no sisters; all alone ! Feeling fear and horror this way is more than a pain in the ass, i rather to go for a horror movie to gain that "excitement" rather than this way!

The continuous repulsive, sickening and bloody scenes in my various dreams are still freshly pitch in my mind. I have no idea what's the causes of all these continuous suffering nights, thus I see no way to get rid of them. Even an usual afternoon nap turn me down, so now what? I have dilemma to sleep or to stay awake in the jobless afternoon. Awakening in d middle of night with eyes wide open and have no one, NO ONE besides you is terribly saddening.

Turning my bed to the other direction, i pray hard to see an improvement!

Fall anticipating Spring

When feelings fade, it won't just fade so. Just like the falling leaves you see in the fall season, it takes winter to heal the pain, it takes spring to yield and grow. It takes the whole summer season to regain its hotness and passion and be zeal. But in real life, try to hold it in summer, hold it tight in hand, to let the feelings remain forever lasting.

Falling leaves can be seen everywhere in Columbus now, I have a few favorite trees in campus, somewhere behind the Evans Laboratory and somewhere down there along the street. No pictures of those. I felt calm and cool savoring the beauty of the beautiful trees, I hope i could share the feelings with all my loves one.

Darkness represents coldness, unwelcoming, forbidding kind of atmosphere.

Otherwordly, it could be as relaxing as the afternoon scenario too, it all depends what emotions you choose to draw in for that instant. I might be afraid or insecure for making an error but eventually i choose to follow my instinct.

I am anticipating for the next spring. I want to see things flourish in shine.